Thursday, March 31, 2016

BREAKING -- Merck & Merck Agree To Merge: New Firm To Be Called... "M-Squared"

Updated: Happy April Fools 2016!

Trust me when I say I have this on the best of (German) authority.

Apparently the to-be-launched branding campaign is going to elaborate upon -- and serve as a derivative riff off of -- Albert Einstein's most-famous equasion.

As with all mergers, though, the redundancies are being eliminated -- drop the enigmatic "E"; cancel off the fudge constant "C" (who really cares about the speed of light, anyway?). . . and you are left with. . . only an M.

But it has been squared, to the power of innovation. Genius, I tell you.

. . . .The two management teams have streamlined, reducing Einstein to simply "M2". . . .

If you run this news item today, you must credit this outlet. I haven't invested millions of dollars in lavish dinners, to procure my my confidential connections (and thus garner this scoop) -- for nothing. Thank you, in advance. That is all. UPDATED @ 2 PM EDT -- Then we read this. N-i-i-i-i-ce.


Anonymous said...

But is it a 'reverse merger?'

Condor said...

Oh, I am certain. . . it simply MUST be!

Namaste, Anon. . . Grin. . .

Brian D said...

I heard the meeting went something like this

Condor said...

Perfect -- spot on, Brian!


Onward, and "shagg-a-delic, baby!"