Monday, January 4, 2010

"I'd Like To Have My Lunch. . . Buy ME!" -- Dick Clark


Sadly, I missed mentioning this one, back on March 10, 2009 -- but it is priceless! The reverse merger structure -- dissected.

The No. One Top post of 2009 -- from the estimable In Vivo Blog -- do go read it all -- but here's a snippet:

. . . .Dick Clark: Just hold on a second there [sends blackberry message to general counsel] ... Hi. No i prefer the unsalted. Better for the ticker. Anyway ... [checks blackberry] ... OK, see, I’d like to structure this transaction so that my lunch buys me.

Clerk: What? Ha, that’s funny. Are you going to pay cash?

Dick Clark: Well yes [gets wallet] ... but I'm going to put some of it on this card. But we need to have the sandwich buy me, seriously. If the lunch buys me I don’t have to share it with Kellogg. I kind of promised Pete half my turkey and swiss, but if it’s not my sandwich, technically I don’t have to give him any. And it’s the last one in the fridge over there. Plus … lets see [checks blackberry] … yes. If we do it this way the calories don’t count either.

Clerk: Uh, I don’t know how to do that. There’s no button for that on the register.

Dick Clark: Just ring it up as you normally would, and I’ll get Bruce Kuhlik down here in a minute to draw up the agreement and rename the sandwich. Oh and I might as well pre-pay for—I mean tomorrow’s sandwich might as well pre-pay for me, right now. That way there’s no confusion. Today's lunch and tomorrow's lunch, all together. . . .

Flawless satire!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not that this comment has anything to do with the post but I wanted to wish you and yours a welcome to the new decade.

It is my sincere hope that this decade will bring some much needed light on a much larger basis to certain activities in the pharmaceutical industry.

Salmon

Condor said...

That would be my hope as well, and I wish all the best to you and yours, Salmon!

Thanks for all the value you've added here. I look forward to a new decade -- of discovery, and reform!

Namaste